The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

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skalpel
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The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:37 am

As can be seen Here, an idea cropped up not so long ago which suggested a thread where people can request absurd scenarios to be made into an MS Paint reality by other forum members.

So, think of the most ridiculous situation you possibly can, involving at least one thing football related, type it out and post it. Those of us with MS Paint or access to a browser based paint program like forum favourite Sketch Paint are then welcome to draw the situation as best as possible.

It's inspired by Jim'll Paint It which I think fatgeordiedave posted onto the forum originally - in which a guy takes requests for ridiculous drawings.

An example might be:
"Please draw Shola Ameobi drinking yoghurt through his ears on the wing of an aeroplane which is being eaten by a gigantic shark wearing a suit that is still being tailored by Mark Lawrenson who is failing to do kick ups in front of a small audience of starfish."

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Speedo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:42 am

<scratch>

How about...

Please draw Garrincha (google him you ignoramus) doing surgery on a patient while smoking a massive spliff, inside a kaleidescope hospital decorated to the theme of Noah's Arc, which is floating above a giant turtle with the face of Garth Crooks.
I had the first custom w***

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:49 am

<gent> I'll get on it as soon as I've finished eating.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by DDuc » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:53 am

Obertan beating a man...


...and in mid type I realise somebody could get clever with this. <perv>
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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by asbo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:03 am

Please draw Titus Bramble taking the Diva on the roof of a Vauxhall Calibra, which is parked illegally in a disabled space and therefore being given a ticket by Michael Owen, who has struggled to come to terms with retirement and taken up a job as a traffic warden to fund his ketamine addiction after a series of disastrous horse purchases rendered him broke, while all this is going on, nervous undercover police officer cbrad, investigating prostitution in the Durham area, squats behind a nearby bin, too afraid to make the arrest and reveal to the Diva, an old acquaintance, the erection the scene has given him.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by asbo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:11 am

Please draw skalpel in a gothic banquet hall, trying to polish off a five course meal while keeping up with mounting requests for absurd football paintings, in his sleep deprived confusion and a state of deep stress he's purchased a palette and easel to paint on and is trying, with a chicken drumstick in one hand and a user's requested painting in the other, to upload the painting to ToonForum by feeding it backwards through his printer.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:42 am

Speedo wrote:<scratch>

How about...

Please draw Garrincha (google him you ignoramus) doing surgery on a patient while smoking a massive spliff, inside a kaleidescope hospital decorated to the theme of Noah's Arc, which is floating above a giant turtle with the face of Garth Crooks.
Image

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:24 am

AbsolutelyGlorious wrote:Please draw Titus Bramble taking the Diva on the roof of a Vauxhall Calibra, which is parked illegally in a disabled space and therefore being given a ticket by Michael Owen, who has struggled to come to terms with retirement and taken up a job as a traffic warden to fund his ketamine addiction after a series of disastrous horse purchases rendered him broke, while all this is going on, nervous undercover police officer cbrad, investigating prostitution in the Durham area, squats behind a nearby bin, too afraid to make the arrest and reveal to the Diva, an old acquaintance, the erection the scene has given him.
Image

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by asbo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:30 am

That is harrowing. <laugh> I'm going to spend ages trying to work out the significance of 117 even though I'm 90% certain it's random.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Lidl » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:34 am

<****>

the look on her face....

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:34 am

<laugh> Yeah, it's just random unfortunately. It did say Durham County Council underneath the number at one point but it was barely readable so I removed it.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by asbo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:37 am

Livin' Davide Loca wrote:<****>

the look on her face....

<divom>
Request something LiDL. If we request enough Mal7 can just take a photo for my second one. <diva>

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:40 am

<laugh>. I want other people to try draw some stuff too. Plus my mouse-arm is aching like a bastard after drawing that Vauxhall Calibra <neg>.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by asbo » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:43 am

skalpel wrote:<laugh>. I want other people to try draw some stuff too. Plus my mouse-arm is aching like a bastard after drawing that Vauxhall Calibra <neg>.
<laugh> I'm still on a trackpad, as soon as I get a mouse I'll do some paintings of the diva in various situations.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by skalpel » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:44 am

Every request should involve the diva in some shape or form. It's such a versatile and hilarious face.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Pardew's Legendary Specs » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:20 am

<laugh> <applause>
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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Having a Good time » Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:31 am

Shola(obviously wearing a hat) climbing Mt. Everest , slaying a dragon and Obertan parachuting in
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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Blue & Maroon » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:19 pm

Shola Ameobi holding DiCanio on the front of a small fishing vessel (Dicaprio/Kate Winslet style) as they sail down the side of a volcano which is firing lumps of molten Steve Claridge from it. Garth Crooks is still trying to argue with the smoldering remnants of Claridge on the floor.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by overseasTOON » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:23 pm

Cabaye eating at Nandos whilst wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask to remain anonymous with 5 Goals in the background grinding himself against the restaurant window in a sexually gratifying manner, but leaving the viewer confused as to whether it's Cabaye or Nando' chicken that 5 Goals is most enamored with.

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Re: The Absurd Football Painting Request Thread

Post by Galactico » Wed Apr 03, 2013 2:37 pm

Jeffrey Dahmer performing a hydrochloric acid labotomy on Stephan Sessegnon while in the background Paulo Di Canio is being stalked by a naked, cow entrail and blood covered Richard Trenton Chase on Hylton Road. Meanwhile at Hylton Road metro station which is now actually the DeFeo family home with a train track running through it, Sebastian Larsson is swapping Garbage Pail Kids stickers with Titus Bramble.
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